Add the ingredients for the paste to a blender with 1/4 cup water and blend to a fine paste. Set aside.
Finely slice the cabbage and the onions. Keep them separate. Get out all the spices and have them ready by the stove.
Cook the cabbage
Heat a large sauté pan or skillet on medium heat. Add the mustard seeds and fenugreek, and sauté until the mustard seeds begin to pop. Add the dried chili and stir until aromatic, then add the onion. Stir, and cook for 1-2 minutes.
Add the curry leaves, and continue to cook for 1-2 minutes, until the onions begin to soften. Add the turmeric powder and stir well.
Add the shredded cabbage with the salt, and mix well
Turn down the heat to low, cover, and cook the cabbage over low heat with the lid on, checking every few minutes and giving it a stir. Do not add extra water unless absolutely needed. The cabbage should cook in its own juices and it should not brown much.
Once the cabbage is cooked, but still a bit crisp, add the coconut paste and continue to cook for 2 minutes with the lid on.
Turn off the heat, and garnish with fresh cilantro.
For a complete meal, enjoy with basmati rice and dal.